I think for many of us, if not all of us, these two terms have been used interchangeably at some point in our lives. Are they different? Does it matter?
YES, and YES!
Over the next few shorter blogs, I’m going to be breaking down the differences, their role in the sexual response cycle and the many factors that impact them.
Sexual desire vs. Sexual arousal
Sexual desire is emotionally or mentally wanting to have sex (a.k.a libido). Whereas sexual arousal is a mind-body experience where you feel physical and emotional changes in anticipation or response to a sexual stimulus (a.k.a turned on). This is where the blood flow increases to the genitals, the heart rate rises, vaginal lubrication increases, and the vulva and vaginal tissue swell.
Sexual desire and arousal are controlled by specific parts of the brain, hormones, neurotransmitters, as well as the environment. The hypothalamus and amygdala have been associated with sexual desire and arousal. There is also a pleasure center in the brain (nucleus accumbens) which is activated during all types of pleasure from eating your favourite food to having an amazing sexual experience. Both reproductive hormones (i.e. estrogen, testosterone, and progesterone) and neurotransmitters (i.e. dopamine, serotonin, norepinephrine etc.) control the sexual response as well (1). The way these areas of the brain are activated and the rate at which the hormones/neurotransmitters are released, vary from person to person. Based on new research, it seems that sexual arousal and response are much more complex for people with vulvas. It’s not so black and white. This helps to explain why we all have different sexual experiences and preferences.
Now, while desire and arousal often go hand in hand, according to sex researcher Emily Nagoski, sexual desire and sexual arousal only overlap 10% of the time when it comes to people with vulvas (2). This is going to be the topic for my next blog. It’s a big ONE!
Please note: As someone approaching sexual wellness from an inclusive and shame-free lens, I may adapt some of the wording or add some of my thoughts to the common sexual wellness concepts, models, and research.
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