For a long time, we’ve been conditioned to think that our desire to have sex should just appear out of thin air. You look at your partner and all of a sudden you want to rip their clothes off…
This is called spontaneous desire. Many of us can think of a time we have experienced this. Maybe this is our normal, maybe we only experience this in the beginning of relationships, maybe we’ve never experienced this at all. That is A OK!
There is an entire other path to desire called “responsive desire”. Unlike spontaneous desire where the mental interest to have sex comes first, with responsive, the desire emerges in response to pleasure. Imagine you are in bed and your partner starts giving you a massage or begins kissing your neck, even though prior to this you were ready to go to sleep, the sensations and feelings of pleasure may get you in the mood to have sex. This is responsive desire and it is normal and way more common than you think.
It is also important to note that for some people their normal is no/reduced sexual desire or attraction. Unfortunately for too long, we have assumed that having a low sexual desire is a problem. Or if we don’t spontaneously want to have sex with our partners it means something is wrong with our relationship or attraction to our partner. This is all so far from the truth and I am so glad you are here so we can start to break down some of these harmful narratives impacting sexual wellness. Wherever you fall on the spectrum of sexual desire, you are valid in your experience and you are not broken.
If you are unhappy with your sexual desire, arousal or anything related to your sexual health, this is where some support can be helpful. Book a complimentary discovery call to get some of your questions answered and begin on your path to feeling empowered and achieving the pleasure you deserve.
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